


You Wrote "Don't Forget" On Your Arm

by Merlin_OhMy



Series: The Untold Stories of Steve Rogers' Life [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Recovering, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Protective Steve Rogers, Tony Stark Has Issues, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-08 11:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13457007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlin_OhMy/pseuds/Merlin_OhMy
Summary: But now, I'm looking for a time machineOr anyone who can justify why I've been goneOr anyone to lie to meThey could say that they understand the things I've done-FlatsoundBucky wakes up, and begins the first step in the process of healing.





	You Wrote "Don't Forget" On Your Arm

Steve sat at Bucky's bed side, waiting for his lover to open his mysterious grey-blue eyes. The last few days hadn't been easy from Buck between waking up from cryo-freeze, being poked and prodded to make sure he was stable for the procedure. It hadn't been pleasant, Steve couldn't even stomach listening from the hall way. Buck had been in so much anguish during the BARF simulations.  It got so bad that Buck had a panic attack, he couldn't breath nor slow his heart rate. He had to be sedated before he hurt himself or others. 

 

But Tony was confident they were making significant process no matter how much Steve' entire body twisted into knots over the idea. He couldn't seen been in the room during the simulations. Steve can't imagine how Buck made it through over 72 hours of testing before finally being wrecked by the weight of all he relived. Maybe, Buck is just stronger than Steve, makes sense to Steve. Bucky had carried the weight for both of them throughout the war. 

 

Steve held Bucky's hand, he shifted in his seat when he heard Tony come into the small hospital room. He looked up to see Tony on his  Starkpad, presumably looking over Buck's vitals and brain scans.

 

"He's doing well, Steve."

 

 

"Is he at least at peace?"

 

"I think so. His brain waves indicate minimal activity which means he's resting comfortably."

 

 

"Are we close to being done with the BARF simulations?"

 

 

"I'll have a better idea when he wakes out. But I'm fairly confident we've undone the code words. I won't subject him to further simulations if Barnes no longer has any reaction to those code words."

 

 Steve looks wrecked, that pouty lip, worry lines, and kicked puppy look.  Tony puts his hand on Steve's shoulder, and squeezes lightly. He wish he could do more to help Steve.  Tony had seen how rough the last few days had been on Steve. He hadn't taken it well, spending days holed up in his room. If only, Tony had seen how many draws Steve had sketched of Buck since this all began. 

 

"You're gonna develop an ulcer, kid."

 

 

"It's probably too late to do anything about."

 

 

"What's eating you up inside?"

 

"Besides worrying myself stupid over B, I can't stop thinking about my stupid dream."

 

 

"Yeah."

 

 

"I used to dream about settling down, having a family, and growing old with the love of my life."

 

"And?"

 

 

"I feel empty thinking about."

 

 

"Oh Steve."

 

"I don't know if I want to bring kids into this brutal world" 

 

 

"That's okay, Steve. Nothing wrong with that."

 

 

"I always imagined I'd have a big ole broad of kids.”

 

“I bet, Steve. Given your Irish Catholic heritage and Bucky’s large family, a bet that would feel right for both of you.” 

 

Tony smiled softly trying to picture it. Steve felt melancholy thinking about what they could never have. There's just no way they'll  get to have a normal apple pie life, not in their line of work. Not as long as their Captain American and the Winter Solider, families are just risk not worth taking. Until the Accords are dealt with, and Ross isn't breathing down their necks normal isn't realistic, not even a possibility. 

 

“Any chance of blowing this popsicle stand soon?” , Steve asked trying to change the subject.

 

“Soon. The good news I think your boy is gonna make a full recovery, Cap.”

 

 

"Thank fuck." 

 

 

"Language, Cap.", Tony teased.

 

  
"I wanna spoil the hell out of Buck when this is all over."

 

 

 

"That's a mighty fine plan, kid."

 

Steve smiled softly, he watched a subtle change in Bucky's expression. Bucky was slowly waking up, he peeked his eyes open lightly before closing them again. He did grunt though to confirm he was back in the land of the living.

 

 

"Bucky?" 

 

 

"Steeb.", Buck said in a groggy voice.

 

 

"Hey Buckroo. Mind squeezing my hand?", Tony asked, running a neuro check. When all of Bucky's reflexes and responses  came back with flying colors, he left the boys alone to have a moment alone.

 

 

"Come here, Stevie.", Buck patted a spot beside him.

 

"I don't want to hurt you."

 

 

"I won't break. 'sides you probably haven't slept a wink since New York."

 

 

"You're not wrong, pal."

 

 

Steve climbed into the hospital bed, and settled with Buck nested under his chin.

 

 

"You worry too much, Steve."

 

 

"I just don't want anything to happen to you."

 

 

 

"I'm not going anywhere.", Buck kissed Steve's forehead."

 

 

 

"Promise?"

 

 

"Till the end of the line, punk."

 

 

"You better stop hogging all the blanket, jerk."

 

 

Buck laughed quietly.

 

Buck pressed his nose against Steve's neck, taking in the familiar scent of his lover. He held Steve close, and Steve snuggled Bucky tightly as if he wasn't ever going to let go of him. 

 

 

“Can I ask ya something?”, Steve asked quietly.

 

 

”Sure, pal.”

 

 

”How do you feel about going home?”

 

 

”Home is wherever I am with you.”

 

 

”Now look who’s the sap.”, Steve teased.

 

 

”Come here.”, Buck said softly.

 

“Sure.”

 

Steve listened and snuggled closer. Bucky kissed him senseless  before pulling away and trying to map out all of Steve’s features with his flesh hand.

 

”Watcha doing?”

 

 

”I don’t want to forget this”

 

 

”I’m not going anywhere.”

 

 

”Steve?”

 

 

”I mean it, Bucky. I’m not going to be Captain America anymore.”

 

 

Bucky made a face, an expression Steve couldn’t read. 

 

 

“Since when?”, Buck's voice went all soft.

 

 

”Since I stared at your ugly mug and realized all I want is to grow old with you.”

 

Buck whispered an affectionate Yiddish word low in his voice.

 

Steve smiled, taking Bucky’s hand in his own.

 

”I’m yours pal.”

 

 

”Is this real?”, Bucky asked shocked, almost afraid that he’s dreaming.

 

”Yes babydoll. It’s real. We’re going home.”

 

”Where will we live?”

 

”I’m thinking a quaint historical home in Brooklyn.”

 

 

”Oh Steve.”, Bucky’s heart swelled with excitement.

 

“You’re gonna be fine, Buck. It’s a long way to recovery, but if anyone can kick PTSD’s ass it’s you”

 

“No more code words?”

 

 

”Tony is going to run some more tests to confirm. But he’s confident your mind is your own again.”

 

 

“Thank you, Steve.”

 

 

”For what? I didn’t do anything.”

 

 

 

”You’re still too stupid to run from a fight.”

 

 

”Damn right. I’m not gonna leave my best guy in the freezer forever”.

 

 

”I knew you’d find a way to make me well.”

 

 

“I just held your hand. Tony and T’challa, they’re the real boy geniuses.”

 

 

”You’re the one who came back for me.”

 

 

”Always, Buck.”

 

 

“I promise I’m never gonna leave you again.”, Bucky promised.

 

 

”You better know cause that sucked.”, Steve’s voice cracked.

 

”I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

 

 

”Ditto.”, Steve's eyes were wet with tear as his massive sobs took over. Steve's entire  body with the force of his sobs. Everything that had been weighing him down the last few days gave away as his emotional dam burst. 

 

”Stevie? Baby, it’s okay.”, Bucky cooed softly.

 

 

“I-I-I was so scared that you would never wake up.”

 

 

”I’m here, pal.”

 

 

”I was so alone.”

 

 

”I’m never going to leave you again.”

 

 

”I couldn’t stand the idea of being without you. You make me happy, B.”

 

 

”I love you, Steve.”, Bucky reassured pressing kisses along steve’s forehead.

 

“I love you too Buck.”

 

 

”I promise you I’m here to stay.”

 

 

”I hated watching you leave.”, Steve hiccuped.

 

”What had you so scared?”

 

 

”You hadn’t left me since the war, before being drafted.”

 

 

”What about when I fell?”

 

 

”I was already dead the moment you fell, Buck.”

 

“Oh Stevie.”

 

Bucky held Steve close, rocking him quietly and humming a song. Steve was tired and overwhelmed, judging by how he clung to Buck. 

 

“Shhh. Close your eyes, Steve.”

 

Steve sniffled, closing his eyes and resting  his  head on Bucky’s chest.

 

Bucky snuggled, listening to Steve ‘s breathing even out. He wasn’t far behind his lover in falling asleep. They fell into a restful sleep, wound into each other as their bodies intertwined.  

  

The boys woke up together that afternoon,just taking things slow and together. They both needed to process the rawness of their own emotions, especially Steve.

 

While Steve was in the shower, Bucky felt himself drawn to his boyfriend's open notebook. He wasn't aware Steve had picked up his art again,judging by the number of drawings in the sketchbook, it must be new.  

 

In meticulous shading and sketching, Steve had captured the spark of brilliance in the eyes of a young Tony Stark. Buck's breath was taken away by the likeness, Steve truly had a gift. Tony couldn't have been any older than six or seven in this sketch, it's an absolutely gorgeous portrayal of the genius.  Buck's eyes were wet, quick tried to hid his emotions when he heard Steve's footsteps into the hospital room.

 

"I'm sorry, Stevie.", Buck swallowed thickly.

 

 

"It's okay."

 

 

"I didn't mean to pry. Your drawings are private."

 

"If I didn't want you to look, I should't have left my sketchbook out and open."

 

 

"I didn't  realize you were sketching again."

 

 

"It's a recent thing."

 

 

"Steve, babe, this drawing is incredible."

 

 

"Oh, Buck.", Steve said softly, almost shy.

 

 

"You captured his brilliance, flair, vulnerability, and even that playful snark."

 

 

"I like to think of what Tony might've been like as a child."

 

 

"Do you often think about it?"

 

 

"I wish sometimes that we could've been there for him."

 

 

"Oh, Steve, you mustn't wonder what if."

 

 

"I  do, Buck. The world kept moving without us."

 

 

"Peg wouldn't like that sad look on your face."

 

 

"Yeah, she would've  told me to stop being such a sap."

 

 

Buck laughed softly.  


 

"She would kick your ass."

 

  
  
"You're not wrong."

 

 

Buck squeezes Steve's hand, tugging him back into bed for snuggles and kisses.

 

 

"We wouldn't have gotten to love each other openly, without fear of death, prison or conversion therapy."

 

 

"That's true."

 

 

"Not everything about this century sucks, Steve."

 

 

 

"I just wish we could've been there. For Howard, for Tony, ya know? Maybe Tony wouldn't be so afraid of people rejecting him, we would've loved him, been proper uncles to him."

 

 

"I'd punch Howard in the jaw for being such a dick.", Buck agreed. 

 

 

"Maybe we could've saved him."

 

 

"Maybe I would've have killed him.", Buck points out.

 

"That's fair."

 

 

"Steve, for every negative thing in our life, there's always a positive."

 

 

"When did you become so smart?"

 

 

"Well, you took all the stupid with you."

 

 

Steve laughed so hard, he wasn't sure when his happiness morphed into tears. But damn, he was just so relived. He knew for the first time in a longtime  that he was coming home from war and that everything was going to be alright.  Two boys lost in time, their souls intertwined, morphed into a single being with two beating hearts. They were.  The journey home won't be easy, but homeward bound they'll march, in hopes of a new beginning while living together.

 

For better or worse, in sickness and in health. That's the promise Steve was gonna keep, he promised those words a lifetime  and he meant it even more now.

 

To be continued.


End file.
